It wasn’t until I started reading Thanks for Arguing that I realized that I have rarely if ever argued in my whole life. Which comes as a huge surprise to me as I have 2 siblings who are far from angelic to say the least. This is not to say that we never disagree though. In fact, it is far from it. While I rarely argue with my siblings, it is not uncommon for us to fight. For you see, up until this point in my life, I have always argued to win. And it turns out that this is not truly arguing at all. For “you succeed in an argument when you persuade your audience” (Heinrichs, Jay). However, persuasion had never crossed my mind. I was playing for the win. And “you win a fight when you dominate the enemy” (Heinrichs, Jay).

However this did change when I left home. Win, Win, Win: that was all that mattered. To show my audience that I was right, and my opponent wrong. It was always black and white, never gray.  When I look back now, I realize that conceding to the opponent can actually be a good stepping stone for getting what you want in the end. As Henrichs describes in his fictional confrontation with a cop: acknowledging your wrongs and appealing to his authority may make it seem as if you have lost. When in reality, you have won as in the end you get what you are looking for: exemption from a ticket.  As a result I have come to think of arguing as I do sports. It does not matter how many times you lose matches as long as you get what you want in the end: a championship.

However, Henrichs takes this a step further by stating that arguing is often more than getting your way. A good argument will result in your opponent being satisfied with a solution in which you get what you want. This is also something I consider an invaluable skill to learn. For fights are generally known to destroy relationships. Arguments, on the other hand, can enhance them. As stated by Henrichs when discussing marriage and argumentation: “the couples who stayed married seemed to use their disputes to solve problems and work out differences” (Henrichs, 383). This I would consider invaluable as I can say myself that I have come close to losing friends over fights. Something I learned can be completely avoided through the art of rhetoric.

In the end, I have come away with this. Rhetoric is far more than a skill I can use to impress my English teacher or a potential employer. Rhetoric is in fact something that can be used to enhance my life. It is a tool in which I can use to get my way in arguments and to augment my relationships. Currently I am a 4 year old which has just been given an Iphone. I now have a powerful tool under my control. However, I still am unsure how to use it skillfully. I will however, (much like the 4 year old with the iphone) learn. And once I have mastered how to wield this new weapon, I will be sure to

reap many benefits.